hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize