I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
