Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
