i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize