Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
