you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
