Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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