We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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