All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
