Porn is love you can see.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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