i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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