And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
