At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
