so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Well I just put wine in my tea
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
