my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
