hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Someone came in the potted fern
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
