I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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