i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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