i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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