omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
