I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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