took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
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