im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
