Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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