We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
