My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize