Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
