Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
