She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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