so explain again why im purple
no
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize