the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
