In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
