Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Every concussion has its silver lining
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
