Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
