I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize