Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize