no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I understand Curling. That high.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
