I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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