Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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