maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I can feel your judgement through the phone
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
