yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize