"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
