The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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