so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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