they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize