Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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