I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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