i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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