that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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