i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
