i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
