If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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