His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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