You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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