cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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