I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Randomize
