so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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