just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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